


Amethyst & Peridot: The Ultimate Wingmen

by CaptainJZH



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Best Friends, F/F, First Dates, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Funland (Steven Universe), Future Fic, Humor, Nonbinary Character, Other, Roller Coasters
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-21
Updated: 2020-08-21
Packaged: 2021-03-07 02:19:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,133
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26029336
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CaptainJZH/pseuds/CaptainJZH
Summary: Amethyst and Peridot find out Lapis and Stevonnie are into each other, and arrange an elaborate set of circumstances to bring them together.
Relationships: Amethyst/Peridot (Steven Universe), Lapis Lazuli/Stevonnie (Steven Universe)
Comments: 3
Kudos: 17





	Amethyst & Peridot: The Ultimate Wingmen

Amethyst and Peridot laid on an old crusty mattress in Amethyst’s room, idly cuddling as Peridot scrolled through her tablet.

“Amethyst, these Camp Pining Hearts ‘shippers’ are out of their minds! They think Jules should get with Jade, when Eliza is the infinitely preferable option!”

“Man, I still don’t get that show.”

“I still do not get how  _ you  _ still don’t get it. Heh, at least  _ Lapis  _ understands.”

“You aren’t gonna leave me now, are you Peri?” Amethyst teased.

“Absolutely not!” Peridot said, horrified at the suggestion. “Besides, Lapis isn’t ‘into’ me, as far as I know.

“Really? Someone with a stunning bod like you, that barn shoulda been your own little sex dungeon.”

“I don’t know why you’d have sex underground, but sure.”

Amethyst laughed. “So, who’s Lapis actually into these days? I know she tells you everything. You’re, like, best friends.”

Peridot paused. “Well…”

“It’s Pearl isn’t it? Ooh, or Bismuth. Oh, what if it’s both? I wonder if they’d be into it…”

“Ha! None of the above. You’d never guess.”

“Tell me!” Amethyst begged. “I’m dyin’ to know!”

Peridot hesitated, then spoke. “...Stevonnie.”

“You’re shitting me.”

“Amethyst I don’t see what your predilection with human bodily functions—”

“Stevonnie’s into Lapis!” Amethyst blurted out, sitting up.

It’d been about 10 years since Steven and Connie had decided to permafuse into Stevonnie. They’d been hanging out around Little Homeworld quite often, and Amethyst had noticed Stevonnie’s tendency to visit Lapis, forcing it out of them.

“...I do not think either of them are aware of this fact,” Peridot said, after the initial excitement had died down.

“We  _ gotta  _ set them up.”

“Lapis is too sensitive! She’d never willingly go on a date, it’d make her too nervous.”

“You’re right,” Amethyst groaned. “Vonnie’s the same way! Ugh, if only we could get them...”

Peridot and Amethyst had the same idea.  _ “...together!” _

\---

“Stevonnie!” Amethyst said, leaping out from under the docks. “Ready for a funtastic day at Funland?”

“Sure!” Stevonnie nodded, a little weirded out by Amethyst’s cheery demeanor but glad she was so happy.

As they walked in, Amethyst looked behind them and gave a thumbs-up to Peridot, who was hiding in a trash can. The trash can lid was floated off by the green Gem, who hopped out and ran up to Lapis as she descended onto the boardwalk.

“Lapis! It’s so good to see you!” Peridot proclaimed. “I, as I always am, have no ulterior motives in asking you to this day at Funland!”

“...Uh-huh,” Lapis said, a tad suspicious but willing to go along with it. Peridot was weird like that sometimes.

As far as Amethyst and Peridot were concerned, everything was going according to plan.

\---

“Oh  _ noooooooes!”  _ Peridot screamed melodramatically. “I cannot bear the sight of this horrid sign! I am, as I was many moons ago,  _ Too Short To Ride,  _ and now, you, Lapis, must ride in my place! Oh, go on without me, I shall be right here, moping in my lonesomeness!”

Lapis rolled her eyes, entering the queue. Peridot was probably just upset that  _ Camp Pining Hearts: Deep Lake Nine  _ was taking a more dramatic turn than the original or  _ The Next Generation.  _ She’d get over it in a week.

\---

“Ah nuts!” Amethyst said as they approached the rollercoaster, seeing the minimum height sign. “I’m still too short! Gosh darn it all to heck. Welp, you’ll just have to ride it without me! Have fun!” She gave Stevonnie a kick.

“But Amethyst, you can shapeshift...”

“Hey is that Pearl? Hi Pearl!” Amethyst said, running off.

Stevonnie shrugged, figuring this was probably an elaborate prank, but that they might as well ride the coaster anyway.

\---

As Stevonnie approached the coaster, she saw a crowd of people standing off to the side, out of the queue. Mr. Smiley, hard to see in the shadows of the operator’s compartment, was apparently forcing people out of line.

“Uhh, sorry, no wearin’ red hats in Funland,” he said, pulling another guy away from the coaster.

All of the cars were full, minus the last one, which only had one person in it. Who it was, Stevonnie couldn’t tell. As the line slowly dwindled, however, Stevonnie realized who was in the last car:  _ Lapis. _

Stevonnie stood in stunned silence, as did Lapis, as they locked eyes and stared at each other for a good five seconds. Finally, the line was clear, and Stevonnie was up.

“Alright, uh, person I’ve never seen before, you’re up!” Mr. Smiley said, pushing Stevonnie into the car.

  
Stevonnie’s horror at being so close to Lapis was only matched by their horror as ‘Mr. Smiley’ stepped out of the light and revealed a rather... _ purple  _ complexion. Lapis just thought it was a nice tan. From the sun.

“Oh no…” Stevonnie muttered as Amethyst slammed down on the control panel, forcing the coaster off at high speeds.

“The faster it goes, the better, right?” Amethyst, no longer shifted into Mr. Smiley, asked Peridot, who was hiding underneath the podium.

“I dunno,” Peridot shrugged.

\---

Stevonnie was so scared they grabbed onto the closest thing next to them — Lapis, hugging them tight as the coaster flew faster and faster along the tracks. Lapis followed suit, grabbing them despite not feeling scared. Only nervous from the fact that they were hugging  _ Stevonnie. _

Eventually, however, the coaster came to a sharp turn and, unable to slow down, broke through the railings and hurdled towards the ground...until it stopped midair.

Lapis had quickly summoned water from the nearby beach, using it to freeze the coaster in place. Stevonnie was still hanging onto them as they broke open the safety barrier and flew up high above the coaster, gently setting it back onto the boardwalk.

Stevonnie looked up at Lapis and blushed. Lapis looked at them and blushed too. Lapis flew back down, and it took Stevonnie a few seconds to realize they didn’t need to hug Lapis anymore.

“So...weird coaster ride, huh?” Stevonnie asked, scratching their head. “Thanks for, uh, saving us.”

“No prob...Bob?”

“It’s Stevonnie,” Stevonnie replied. The two giggled at the callback.

“So I’m, like, 90% sure Peridot and Amethyst were setting us up,” Lapis said, finally gaining confidence.

“Oh, I don’t doubt that,” Stevonnie said.

As if on cue, the voice of the real Mr. Smiley rang out through the amusement park.  _ “Amethyst! Peridot!”  _ he shouted.  _ “Don’t make me give y’all lifetime bans!” _

“We were never here!” Peridot said, flying away on a trashcan lid, Amethyst holding onto her from behind.

“Yeah, you’ll never take us alive, copper!” Amethyst called out.

Stevonnie and Lapis laughed, then stood in awkward silence. Finally, Stevonnie spoke. “You wanna go play the carnival games?”

Lapis smiled. “I’d like that.”

_ Mission accomplished,  _ Amethyst and Peridot thought as they flew off into the horizon.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to E350tb and citrusella for beta-reading!


End file.
